Claddagh Poison Ring; A Fashion Oxymoron

WILL WORK FOR FOOD

That's my sign. The one I would be flashing at people if I were standing on a corner. Rare, I know. We're a dying breed, the ones that don't flinch at the prospect of earning our way. Heck, I'm just so tickled someone would actually pay me in exchange for my fulfilling a need of theirs. In case you've been wondering, that's where I've been, working. Now I know what you may be thinkin', " How can she go off and forget about us loyal readers? The answer is...money.

It being the most expensive holiday of the year, I've been beating the bushes for green backs. I haven't gotten my quota yet, although I may have had a couple of shrubs try to hit me back if they weren't dormant. I've been my resourceful self, selling anything that hasn't grown roots.

I've moved a lot of Oracles lately...and no, those have nothing to do with dental floss, tarot, pendulum, Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards, stuff like that. My second biggest seller has been silver jewelry, charms and talismans. Anything from any religion is good mojo. I'm not Jewish, but I love my Hamsa. I Believe all religions are THE religion. The stories are similar, a lot of the practices have similarities too. It all boils down to The Father, The Holy Mother, and The Son. Their lives read like the ultimate Soap Opera. It has been transformed into Blockbuster hits and has remained on the Best Sellers list since the dawn of publication. Tragic, mysterious, awe inspiring page turners. So, a person can't go wrong catering to the spiritual masses. Besides, I may inadvertently win a brownie point with the divine omniscience. I was listing some great stuff today that I wouldn't mind owning myself if I could afford it when a shiny silver heart caught my eye. It glowed beneath a crown and between two slender hands. It was a Claddagh ring. I stopped a minute and admired it, then gently tucked it into a tiny Ziploc and began writing the copy for the advertisement.

CLADDAGH POISON RING...

Right there I busted out laughing. You see, that's what I call a fashion oxymoron. A Claddagh is given as a gift of love and friendship. It's an Irish thing. However, I'm thinking it may not have been an Irishman that decided to create a poison ring out of the time honored gift. Yesser, you read that right. You can discretely stash a little dash of anything inside this ring. And honestly, if you want it to be discrete, you obviously have ill intentions. Am I right?

12/10/2005 11:50 PM
word count 435