Global Warming; Smaller Rats, Transexual Turtles

Tao Quote of the Day;

"The world is a sacred vessel,It should not be meddled with.It should not be owned.If you try to meddle with it,You will ruin it.if you try to own it,You will lose it."

There's a lot of concern being expressed these days about global warming. Even I concern myself with what sort of world my grand kids will have in their future. I've been doing a little research. In fact, I read that the North American overall temperatures have increased by about 1 degree in the last century. That breaks down to an unfathomably small percent of a percent of a percent per day that I can't even comprehend the math involved. That doesn't mean it's not important. it just means I suck at math.

On one chart I saw that the State of Arizona increased by 3 degrees. So Phoenix could very well be the Hell of the future. Not that it's a picnic now.

"Sinners shall be cast down into the everlasting flames of Phoenix...blah-blah-blah"Do-to-her-an-me 30-06

People will be saying things like, "Burn in Phoenix!"

According to many scientists, by the end of the 21st Century we could be looking at an increase from 2.5 to 10.4 degrees because of the anthropogenic greenhouse gases(human emissions). Time to buy stock in Bean-O.

The way I figure it, if I hang in there for another 50,000 years at 1 degree per century, that stock in Coppertone could make me a very wealthy woman.. On the other hand, if the centenary data escalates at the projected maximum of a 10.4 x's that of each century that came before...in 200 years the temp could raise as much as 108.16 degrees? I'm thinkin' if we initiate a mandatory birth control enforcement we could cut the total collateral damage down dramatically. On the oft chance that nobody votes for that option, may I suggest government spending being more focused on replacing fossil fuels with environmentally friendly options like tapping into the limitless energy of the kangaroo rat for instance. Then again, Bermanns Rule of the evolution of body mass reduction according to escalating temperate climates in Kangaroo Rats and Zooplankton might make the Gerbil a more feasible replacement for the diminishing body mass of the diminutive Kangaroo Rat given it's shrinking into nonexistence.

There are other theories to consider as well, such as the one by that guy named after a cheese that says that global warming alters the behavioral patterns in the affected life forms such as Edith's Checker Spotted Butterfly's population which has begun migrating northward. How awful! Soon they will be seen in...I'm not even sure where they are supposed to be, let alone where they are moving to. That little tidbit was not mentioned in the study that I pilfered, but there would be checkered butterflies where ever that is.

Something else I found interesting was the way a given temperature at a certain point of gestation in turtles affects the sex of the embryo. Some person with a name something like Janis Ian (isn't that a pop star from the 70's?) or Jen-Zen figured that out. That's what I want my hard earned money going toward. I'm going to give half my income, that comes to about $2.43, to the study of X and Y chromosomes in turtles because turtles are cute and I'm a dufus. So, if say, the overall soil temperature reaches 223.16 ( that's around what I figure it'll be in 200 years at 10.4 multiplied), will that make the turtles hatch all males? Or all females? Somehow, I don't see how that would matter, because if the ground was that darn hot we'd all be eating poached turtle eggs either way and they probably taste the same.

So, you see, that on the plus side, we could be seeing milder temperatures in the future winter months here in the Mid-West(I refer to it as sweater-weather); on the down side, it won't last long before any sun exposure at all will result in the painful death by the "flash-frying-effect" due to no ozone. How positively apocalyptic!

Word Count 688

2/3/2005 7:25 PM