The Cat's not Bored, Or Dodgeing Golf Balls

You know you spend too much time alone when every thought, no matter how inane, finds it's way past your lips regardless of company, or lack thereof.
I'm rethinking the amount of alone time I designate to self, plus cat.
When I rattle off at the mouth over every little provocation I am entertaining to a feline shut-in, but am looked at askance by other humans (under 60).
When I was a kid, my best friends mom had been through a lot. It showed in that she began mumbling, and humming to herself a great deal. Every fleeting thought, and memory, leaked from her perfectly lined lips. She was a retired beauty queen.
I thought the quirk very odd.
I loved her though.
I also, hoped, that if I ever were to get that way, the end would mercilessly come quick.
I see how my Persian's fascination is peeked, following me around like a golf fan. She, shuffling along within ear shot, no matter where I go, watching my lips, and tilting her head in question, not sure if she should be listening, or ignoring my sounds.
It makes me think.
I'm losing it.
At least the cat's not bored, or having to duck golf balls.
The behavioral oddity of excessive verbalization is not all that uncommon. Most people have found the cell phone craze a simple camouflage for that type nutty behavior.
Hold a phone to your face, and all of a sudden
...WAH-LAH...
you look sane.
It gave me an idea.
Wear the phone around my neck with the nifty cord that came with it.
Whenever someone starts looking at me like my cat does, flip it open,
and say,
"Sorry, had to take it off speaker phone, can I call you back later?"
Instantaneously, you are reprieved from your momentary lapse.
You see, when I first started noticing my nut bag was over flowing, I decided to reintroduce myself to a more social structure. I opened a brick and mortar store. There were no longer days, or weeks of nobody to talk to but myself and the hair ball. John saved all his talking for his friends and family and just sort of used me for venting. He would come in at the end of the day, do his play-by-play of his aggravatingly ME day, while I was expected to stop the world and give him my undivided attention while he dumped, then without being allowed a word in the one sided conversation, he would exit to his room, and I could breathe freely once again, like he was never there.
I was getting way too into my alone time. languishing in the productivity and sheer freedom of it.
I did my thing, got back out into the social order, shook things up a bit, and now am prepared to dig in for a long period of me plus cat. I need to focus on my creative projects, which I do best in isolation.
I figured out that I wasn't kicking divets as much as I thought, and that now I had a fix-it for the ones that slipped. I can look as important as a four year old texting her BFF, or sane as any gossip (there's a contradiction to laugh at)...by talking to the phone...even if there's nobody on the other end.
Shhhh, I won't tell anybody, if you don't.
word count 547
11/15/2007 12:51 PM

We Are Borg!

Blessed Are The Record Keepers, For They Connect The Dots
~ Cerebral Gas

With the coming of the digital age, obscure information has become obscenely easy to come by. People are running out of excuses for their blank pedigree charts. Genealogical maps are no longer only for the monetarily blessed. Anyone can research their family tree, and post the findings for all to see. It can work for you, or against you, as proven in a recent article my sister emailed me linking some royalty to treasonous figures of history.

I personally have used the web to find long lost best friends, an ex-husband that ran years ago, I have stumbled across relatives, researched anything from Avian Flu to zymurgy, posted my twisted thoughts for all to read, downloaded literary classics, and posted personal pictures of redneck farm life. Anything you want, anywhere you want to go, it's all in your PC. No passport, no vaccines, no airport security nightmares to deal with. Just push the power button and google away. Awesome!

Once a person discovers the World-Wide-Web (the Borgian collective unconscious to Trekkies), it's hard to resist the pull. You find yourself assimilated into the research Mecca, seemingly without a desire to do otherwise. Only you don't get any cool mechanical appendages fashioned from obsolete digital hardware parts. I take that back, I've seen more than one ass-bag trade in their Lazy-Boy for a top-of-line Wal-Mart desk chair fresh out of the box and smelling curiously like the plastic bag it was packed in, not able to let go of their fancy new wireless mouse that connects them with....everything. Me , for one. Television has lost it's long time standing as number one home entertainment.

I'm really glad to see so many trade in their non-productive hypnotic trance for the interactive learning tool we have now at our fingertips. It's turning the world into a more united working force, mostly for the good.Let me hear a , "WE ARE BORG!"