Embryonic Socialite Super-hero's

Little kids are cool. Their sleep habits can be molded, the faster the food, the more apt they are to eat it, they'll wear anything, and their favorite birthday present is the box, and best of all, they are extremely easy to impress. Can there be a more perfect companion? I had to mature some to learn to appreciate all that makes these embryonic socialites such supreme sidekicks to the matriarchal.

I can say in all honesty that my true appreciation for the diminutive came about soon after I was told a house cat was out of the question. Being a woman I like to cuddle, but only with something just as willing to cuddle back.

I was aloud to have a fish. While he is beautiful to look at, he is wet and cold and is content to breath the very water he defecates.

I love my dog Merlin, but I don't want to sleep with him. Although he adores me and wouldn't be happier if he could actually crawl inside my skin to be near me, he licks his butt, thinks cat doodle is an hors d'oeuvre, and his favorite cologne is Odeur de Road Kill. So I try to identify any strange odors before doggy/ human contact. Not something I want to have to do every time I feel like a hug, so I was really pressing the why-I-need-a-kitty argument.

You see, John is not very cuddly. In fact he is so not the cuddle-Meister that he likes his own bed...in his own room. It's not a totally bad thing given that he is a restless bed hog, snores, feels the need for an alarm clock that triggers my shock module to such an extreme that bladder malfunction is a given, and that he sleeps on a concrete mattress under so many blankets that it would crush a small child. I, on the other hand, enjoy few blankets and a pillow-top mattress so soft that a cat would sink, a timid clock that coerces me to consciousness with the melodious sounds of the rain forest and most importantly not waking up with a black eye.

After a few years I started getting very lonely. He still wouldn't give ground. In the meantime my children began the period of procreation attractive young people are known for and started producing little tiny people. Really cute ones. I soon lost interest in the furry friend thing and started borrowing babies for company. One of them in particular loves Grandmas big fluffy bed so much I'm having a hard time weaning him in the post toddler-hood state.
These days I have an endless supply of human lap-cats all standing in line clad in super-hero PJ's with their favorite story books tucked under their arms and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
I'd still vie for the puddy-tat on those off days. There's just something about the mutual contentment of the relationship that rounds out the household.
word count 490
4/1/2005 2:18 AM