Looks Like Heaven's Out!

Have you ever had a dream about being dead? I had that experience last night. It was when the dream became lucid that my fascination with my predicament yanked me back into the present and out of the dream state. I was a bit disappointed. Part of me felt I should check to make sure I was still alive and that my reality was in fact not an illusion, making the dream the true reality. The Matrix flashed in my brain. My first thought was, I love that movie but what a stupid thing to be thinking about? I sat up and looked around my darkened chamber, the night light from the bathroom filtered in like it always does. I needed to test something. I slipped into my pink fuzzy slippers and headed for the living room. I pilfered the remote control from Johns chair (that should have clued me in) and flicked on the tube. Standing there grinning to my silly self, waiting for the 1970's console TV to warm up, I fought the urge to start babbling to myself. I lost.
"Okay, if I'm dead, I'm either up there, which would be okay except for I'm not really dressed for the ball, or down there, which would totally suck without my survival gear and there'd be nothing but horror flicks and soap operas on the boob-tube."

I squinted my eyes and focused on....a really bad commercial for hemorrhoid cream. I needed to investigate further. I started the chaotic surfing I'd seen John do every Sunday. There was nothing on I hadn't already seen in 1972. That told me nothing about whether I was still living or in the death denial syndrome. The question of time travel however entered from somewhere in the right-brain.

I needed to try something else. The Matrix kicked me in the frontal lobe one more time. Off went the TV and on went the computer. I dialed up. Nothing out of the ordinary there. No lightening speed, no top-of-the-line peripherals I don't have in my earthly existence (that would mean I'm in heaven). No pop-ups and no influx of spam, no flashing Anti-virus program screaming corruption (that would be my equivalent to burning in hell).

I found nothing out of the ordinary anywhere.

I had a brain-storm.

I went down the hall and swung Johns door open. It stuck and then creaked loudly. The back-draft created a momentary gust. I squared off and prepared myself for the worst yet still clinging to the hope that I'd find Mel Gibson sprawled out on the bed...naked...and giving me that come-hither smirk. The night light cast a soft glow over the foot of the bed.
"Are you asleep?" I ventured.

"Why the hell would I be sleeping...in bed...in the middle of the fricking night?"
I just cringed and pulled the door back shut.

"Looks like Heaven's out", I mumbled.

Right about then I decided it would be best if I did something constructive before I blurred the line on my mental stability any further. I went back to the computer screen and stared blankly at the screen saver which made it seem like I was shooting through the stars.

" I think that means Hell is out too. Oh goody."

I had to journal my bizzare dream. Clicking on Life Journal 2.0 I realized I couldn't remember anything about my dream except that it made me do some really stupid things...and that I was dead.

"So much for doing something constructive".
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4/15/2005 11:57 PM